We put up our Christmas tree on Tuesday night (picture to follow ... maybe).
Last year, all things pertaining to our first Christmas was so exciting. I was fully prepared for the tree-trimming -- had spent time with my dear friend Sarah stringing popcorn and cranberries for the tree's garland; I'd dried fruit to hang on the tree in an attempt to boost the lack of ornaments we owned; I made a wreath to hang on our door with the leftover branches cut off (with a serrated knife I might add) from the tree. It was magical and wonderful.
This year, I haven't had time to do anything. No fun play dates with friends. No wreath. No additionally purchased decorations. No garland. No gingerbread men or cookies. Nada.
And so, instead of being joyful when we trimmed our tree ... I cried. Like buckets of tears cried. I just kept thinking to myself, "Who's stuff is this anyway? It doesn't feel like 'mine''. It doesn't look like the way a Christmas tree is supposed to look. Will this ever feel like it's normal? What's the point if I can't even be home to enjoy it?"
I don't think I've been fully prepared for all the changes that marriage brings ... and really how long it takes for life (and traditions) to become normal and yours and to feel normal and like yours. It's hard.
But, we have a tree up and that's worth something, right? Kc wouldn't let me put up the Boyd's Bear angel that I have, and so since I probably won't have time to make a wreath for the door (and it would probably just get stolen by the punk who took our door mat) I used the ribbon from last year to perch on the top of the tree. :) We've used our Chinese ornaments and then a couple new ones we got last year from people. And it looks a little festive in our apartment which is nice and helpful.
I'm not going to lie, though. This is my current favorite song: Oh there's no place like home for the holidays, 'cause no matter how far away you roam. If you want to be happy in a million ways, for the holidays you can't beat home sweet home. :)
4 comments:
Aw. I'm glad you'll be able to come home for Christmas. That will be really special. Sometimes I find it dissappointing to be an adult and have to "make" CHristmas happen for everyone else -- it definately was fun being a kid and having a mom do it for me!
Looking forward to seeing you guys soon! Love, Aunt B
I've cried a few times about Christmas this year too. I was supposed to only work part time during December and was really looking forward to doing Christmas things like baking, making my own Christmas cards, etc. But I somehow ended up working 4 days a week and the extra day is barely enough time to catch up on normal household chores. Ugh. So I can relate in a way.
I will tell you that traditions get better. Counting the Christmas we were engaged, this is our 4th Christmas together and it feels normal and like ours now. Each year it gets better. We're gaining traditions and figuring out how this thing works. Hang in there - it will come.
Okay, just now catching up on blogs!! Slowly but surely ...
It's only just now that I'm starting to enjoy the stuff we have for our tree. Things are starting to bring back memories now and each things seems to have more significance. :)
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