I took Bennett yesterday for his 2 month well-baby visit. [sigh] There are reasons why I don't like going to doctors without a strong male presence, ie my husband.
We had predetermined to hold off on getting vaccinations for Bennett at this visit. I haven't done tons of research on vaccinations, but from what I've heard from others and what I've read, it's ok to do a delay schedule on getting your child's vaccinations. This is what we had decided to do for Bennett.
I told the nurse that weighed him that we weren't going to be getting any shots and she seemed fine with that answer. But when the pediatrician came in, I felt that he basically chewed me out for not getting Bennett's vaccinations on the "proper" schedule. Even me saying that we just wanted to delay them a couple of months was not a good enough answer for him. He ever so sweetly said that the research I'd done on it was nothing compared to how strongly he felt the other way in why you SHOULD vaccinate your child on schedule.
He said he wasn't able to support my decision to delay the vaccinations and basically then said I'd need to find a new pediatrician. And that was that.
I felt so stupid but still held my ground. I asked him that if we changed our minds, would he allow us to come back and get the vaccinations and I was told most definitely yes. So, I packed up my wee lad, felt like I walked out of the office with a huge bulls-eye target on my back ("She is a terrible mother for not giving her child his vaccinations!!!!"), and left.
So, moms out there ... what do you do? If you do a delayed vaccination schedule, does your pediatrician support your decision or do they at least respect you as your child's parent and the choices you make for them? How long of a delayed schedule do you take? Or do you give all the vaccinations when your pediatrician tells you to?
If there are any moms out there who are in the north Dallas area and read this blog and have a pediatrician who will allow a delayed vaccination schedule ... would you recommend your pedi to me? Please?
I found this guy off of my insurance's website. My OB didn't know him but had friends that went to him and that was that. His office is very close to my house which is why I chose him.
Please. Give me your thoughts. I'm really not someone that does tons of research on their own. I know, I should be better at that, but I much prefer to listen to those that I trust and go off of their opinion on some things.
24 comments:
I don't have kids and as of now plan on vaccinations but who knows.
BUT no matter if the doctor believes that or not, to me he should of handled that WAY better than he did. You can disgree with your patient and calmly explain why you think that, but to be so rude is terrible I think.
Just my two cents.
I'll be doing delayed vaccinations or spaced out ones...my pediatrician is fine with me going to my county health office where vaccs are CHEAP (like $2 each instead of $100). so, maybe she doesn't know that I'm doing them spaced out. Anyway, she does give me her point of view with vaccs (like why she promotes Hep B), but she isn't pushy. That would totally annoy me if my ped acted the way yours did. I'm afraid I still need to do my research to figure out the schedule I want -- can't remember what I did last time, but maybe I should check the records!!!
I would say, if you aren't happy with your dr, find another one. But, I know that can be a pain. recommendations from friends do go a long way.
We are doing delayed vaccinations, and I definitely think you should find a doctor who will be honest about what he/she thinks is best for Bennett, but will also respect you and your role as the final decision maker for your child!
The only book I can recommend is Dr. Sears "The Vaccine Book". He offers a delayed vaccination schedule that you can show your doctor.
We also delay vaccines and declined some for now. Our insurance does not pay well so we will be using the community health clinic like Heather. Our pediatrician has a kind of don't ask/don't tell policy. She just confirms that we will be using the health clinic and doesn't ask details. :) Even though she is definitely a proponent of on-schedule vaccines, she has worked with me and discussed which vaccines she feels are most important and why (hib, prevnar, and dtap). So far, I've been able to stay there. And when we have gotten vaccines, we have done less in one appointment - like one or two instead of four or five.
The long and short of it, I would find another pediatrician that is willing to dialogue about it. You are the mom. And definitely bring a proposed delayed schedule - I wish I would have done that.
This is ridiculous, Meg. It got my blood pressure up just reading your post ;).
I have delayed vaccinations - in fact, Kathryn is the only one that has had them so far, so you could say we are very delayed. Since they are not going to school or daycare, I didn't see the need in doing it until they were 4ish.
My doctor is totally fine with that. He told me he thinks it is best to vaccinate, but he has also done a delayed schedule with his kids (started at 6 months with his boys). He asks me every time if we're going to start shots yet, but each time says, "that's fine! Just tell me when you're ready! You're the boss!" And that's exactly how it should be. You're the boss. You expect him to have the knowledge, and to feed you all the facts, but then you take that information and make the best decision for your family.
The bottom line to me is that some vaccinations are not even effective as early as they want to give them! Definitely do your research, and maybe even call around to dr's offices until you find one that is willing to work with you.
Good for you for standing up for Bennett (and yourself!) YOU are the Mom. What you say goes. We've done a delayed schedule for the girls (delaying chicken pox until they are school aged, delaying MMR until 2, and spacing out some of the others.) We also skip the flu vax. Our doctor is fine with it. I'd definitely find a new doctor! That is ridiculous that he would pressure/bully you in the office on a topic that is so widely debated. Love you!
Hi Megan,
I lived in the Carrollton/Frisco area for the last seven years. I don't have a direct recommendation for you, but I do know a chiropractor in Frisco that has worked quite a bit with vaccination information workshops. I would suggest checking with their office. I was a patient under Dr. Josh and his staff for a year and trust them. :) OR, if you drop me an email, I'm fairly certain I can connect you up with someone who would have a personal recommendation for you. thinkonit .at. yahoo .dot. com
Dorinda (Charlessa's sister)
Dr Joshua Ferrell DC
8000 Warren Parkway #206
Frisco, Texas 75034
(214) 618-9355
Wow! Good for you Megan!
We do delayed vaccinations and no more than one or two at a time. None of the crazy 5 or 6. Thankfully, my Ped. Dr is supportive. So happy for that. You are doing the right thing!
Hope the hunt for a new ped Dr. goes well -- you can interview them first (at least up here) before you decide on your dr!
We follow the recommended schedule--I personally think it's the best thing for my kids, and for everyone else (for all to be vaccinated, keep diseases at bay etc.).
However, I have zero tolerance for a doctor who treats me like an idiot. Whether it is my doc or my kids' doc, they are welcome to their opinion, and I will gladly hear it out, BUT, then I make the final decision. You absolutely should drop him like a bad habit and find a doctor who appreciates the opinion of Mom and Dad--you clearly are doing what you believe to be the best thing for your son and no one should bully you into anything else! Infuriating the way you were treated!
well, i am the outsider here from your current comment people, but i thought i'd give my two cents since you asked. why do people do delayed or no vaccinations anyway?--i truly am curious. i have heard of the autism scare, but i'm positive that was dispelled.
we have given s.a. his vaccinations on schedule. no problems. i'm sorry you were chewed out by that doctor! (i've actually had a bit of trouble with my doctor being rude--what is up?!)
As a person in the medical profession, i do think that if a doctor does not medically agree with your preferences/philosophy, it would seem best if you found a different physician--for both you and him. it is hard to treat a patient if the patient/care giver refuse your knowledge, treatment, orders. and on your side, it is hard to be under a doctor who doesn't have the same views as you (or at least is flexible, as some others have mentioned). i do find it odd, however, that everyone has said that their pediatrician recommends vaccinations on schedule but noone listens to this. your pedis have gone to a lot of school and i would think have good researched-based reasons for vaccinations. i would definitely suggest doing some reliable research and outway pros/cons of each before making a decision.
i feel like the positives would far outway any true negatives for doing vaccinations (on schedule too).
follow-up: i found these helpful links for answering some questions--from the CDC (Center for Disease Control):
basic and common questions about vaccines- http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vac-gen/default.htm
common question about infant immunizations- http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/spec-grps/infants/parent-questions.htm
Oh Meg – I’m sorry to hear about the rough doctor appointment! I had actually never heard of intentional delayed vaccinations before I read your post, so I’m afraid I can’t be much help in that area. The first thought that popped into my head though was “Why wait? What are the benefits to waiting?” It seems that any benefits (like maybe not wanting to give your little one multiple shots at once) wouldn’t outweigh the benefits of making sure your little guy doesn’t get a series illness. We give both of our kiddos all of the vaccines our pediatrician recommends on schedule. There are two main reasons we do this:
1)Although the American Academy of Pediatrics will obviously never be perfect, they have done TONS of vaccination research and all the vaccines being recommended have been proven to be safe, effective, and helpful. Although vaccines are debated if you talk to actual doctors and medical professional about the debate you’ll soon realize that there really has been no evidence to support not getting your child vaccinated on schedule.
2)My mom was a doctor and growing up she would also get very upset with parents who didn’t vaccinate their children. It wasn’t because she felt parents were stupid or uncaring rather it was because she was frustrated and worried that those parents had been confused by all the “untrue hype” about vaccines being unsafe, causing autism, etc. She always told us that the huge benefits of vaccines far outweighed the very rare chance of something going wrong, and that they had never even come close to showing that vaccines cause autism.
Of course I don’t think it’s appropriate for a doctor to be rude, but I think he was probably upset because maybe he felt that you might be going down the “slippery slope” of not getting your child vaccinated or missing out on some important vaccines which of course would be very bad. He was probably thinking (as I guess I am too) “Why wait?” Delaying might be OK to do, but is it the best thing to do?
We personally know people who have had bad reactions to vaccinations and we've also done a lot of research and as of now, have declined all vaccinations.
It's very rare to find a Doctor who thinks you should never vaccinate, but they do exist (I know one in Ohio and several in Illinois). I personally think that Pediatricians are the worst when it comes to listening to you as a mother and supporting you. Family Practice Dr. are much more laid back.(though you still have to be careful.) I usually try to get a recommendation from say, a birthing center or midwives. They usually know the right people.
Don't ever let a Doctor make you feel stupid. Period. If they want your money and your repeat business, then they will treat you right or you will leave. That's my policy. You are the Mom and no one cares about your kid more than you do.
Regardless of your views on vaccinations, why is it that we have to sign a consent form saying that the vaccination manufacturer and the Doctor are not liable for bad reactions? If we don't sign the consent form are they still going to give the vaccination? They can't give it without the consent form. And if you have to sign the consent form before getting one then you still have a choice.
The fear about vaccinations is not only that vaccinations might not do what they say they will (protect you from the diseases:read the studies about outbreaks and how kids with vacs still got the disease) but that the preservatives in them can have an adverse effect as well.
I'm not saying people shouldn't get them, just to educate yourself. And I wouldn't trust someone who is trying to manipulate me by making me feel guilty instead of educating me.
Good for you for standing by your decision for what you and Kc think is best for your son! I can't believe he treated you that way, even though he disagrees with you.
I know I'm not a mom yet, but in my doula reading I do come across post-birth information sometimes too. If God blesses us with children, we will most likely do a delayed schedule as well. Here's an example of a schedule one woman has worked up for her daughter: http://sortacrunchy.typepad.com/sortacrunchy/2007/11/our-delayed-vac.html
Others have mentioned Dr. Sears' book and there's also Dr. Stephanie Cave's What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations and Vaccinations: A Thoughtful Parent's Guide by Aviva Jill Romm. I haven't read any of these myself, but I've seen them listed as recommended reading.
Hope you find a new, supportive doc soon!
There are so many doctors who disagree with vaccination but are limited by malpractice issues. A doctor who supports a family's decision not to vaccinate can be held liable if they get a childhood disease, but when you have your child vaccinated you sign away all rights to a lawsuit if there is a reaction. Our pediatrician in VA suggested I not vaccinate Ben because we were driving cross country in 3 weeks. (I was planning to tell her he'd reacted to his last vaccination and we wouldn't be doing it and never got around to it.) My doctor told me she didn't vaccinate her own child. I've had two doctors at homeschooling conferences tell me that they didn't vaccinate their children. And there are whole clinics and doctors that don't vaccinate. (Check out these: http://homefirst.com/ and http://hpakids.org/. )
Then there the other type of doctors, like yours. The information provided to doctors comes from the vaccine manufacturers. They have chosen not to "keep track" of reactions so if you ask what the reaction rate is, they don't know. Even the CDC doesn't collect this information in a scientific way so their stats are inaccurate. Your doctor is reading the handouts given him by a multi-million dollar industry and probably being busy, just accepting that info.
My god-daughter had pertussis when she was not yet 2. Her mom was freaking out when the doctor told her and the doctor told her there wasn't anything to worry about. She asked if it couldn't be fatal and the doctor told her it was rarely even dangerous. "We have antibiotics for this now," was her response.
Childhood illnesses are not fun. It is downright frightening when your child gets sick. (I have one who has been hospitalized on several occasions.) My pediatrician recommends vaccinating to her patients but told me she recognized I was an informed parent and respected my decision for the girls. (Once Ben reacted, no one recommended he try any more.)
Hopefully you'll find someone with a doctor to recommend who is more open and respectful of your intelligence. If you don't find a ped. that way, make calls and ask. Usually the nurse can answer this question.
Good luck!
Before my daughter was born I polled several families to find out a family doctor that would be open to delayed or skipped vaccinations. Thankfully I was able to find one. We decided to skip some shots, delay some and get some. Our doctor was supportive of this with the only caution being that there were certain vaccinations that needed to be given if we chose to put our daughter in daycare or she was to go to pre-school. If we weren't doing either there was no reason. Doctors have no reason to push for all vaccinations period.
Good for you for standing your ground.
Change doctors! If you're not on the same page, you'll only face similar battles down the road.
And I second the recommendation of The Vaccine Book, by Dr. Robert Sears. He ends up supporting the standard vaccine schedule, but makes a very compelling case for following a reasonable alternate schedule for any parents with concerns. We followed this delayed/alternate schedule, and our pediatrician supported our decision.
Good for you, sis! I'm proud of you for standing up to your doctor!
Jeff and I didn't have a lot of time to research before we got bombarded with vaccination decisions and ended up giving Samantha the first HepB at her two week appointment. It broke my heart!
Since then I've had the chance to read Dr. Sears' book and it was really helpful in deciphering the vaccinations and purposes. Of course he says of all the vacs, the HepB is the least crucial because it is mostly sexually transmitted. Wish I had known that in advance!
I'm still torn, but I lean toward the delayed schedule of Dr. Sears. I have to hurry and decide before I get bombarded again on Monday at Samantha's two month appointment. I think our Dr will work with us. He was slightly pushy but I think it was mostly because he was concerned with Samantha living with the kids from the group home.
Gee, only two months in and this parenting thing is tough! :)
We've delayed Jesse's vaccinations because I've done all the research and trust me when I say there are horror stories about giving infants vaccinations!
The main concern is that a babies immune system isn't fully developed until around 2yrs, and the blood brain barrier isn't closed till about that same time. So everything goes straight to the babies brain. I read somewhere in all my research that the amount of recommended vaccinations an infant gets from birth to 2yrs is the equivalent of and adult getting one shot every day for an entire year. I see no reason to overload a child system like that. Also in most cases the risk of the vaccination is greater than the disease itself.
We are just now thinking of giving Jesse his first vaccines, and only selective ones now that he's two. We have had no problem with doctors being pushy about that, though his pedi does promote on schedule vaccinations.
I hope you find a doctor that respects your opinion and truly cares about what's best for Bennett.
Oh, and that was me, not Steve!
Wow! As you can see, this is obviously a heated topic. :)
We didn't vaccinate Meredith and Clara because I hadn't done my research yet and I decided to wait until I was more knowledgeable on the topic.
Since then (i.e., with Sophia), we have decided to vaccinate, using an alternate schedule. About a year ago I read Dr. Sear's book, The Vaccine Book, and agree that it's excellent. I felt like it was the first resource that wasn't biased and gave me all the info in layman's terminology. I highly recommend it. I felt like I went from being ignorant to being empowered to make the best decisions for my children.
BTW, all three pediatricians I've had have agreed that after age two vaccines are not really an issue because the diseases are no longer life threatening for the child.
Oh, and I have also been chewed out by doctors and it's NOT fun at all. It's one thing to disagree and want to dialogue about it. It's another thing to make your patient's parent feel stupid.
Vaccinations IS a heated subject. But YOU are his mother and you decide what's best for your child. If your ped won't allow you to make the decision on this, you should find another doctor. We personally go to a family doctor, who recommends shots, but allows us to decide.
We started our oldest on a delayed schedule at first, only because we hadn't done the research yet, and didn't feel ready to have her stuck with needles. Especially not at 12 hours old!! She had increasingly worse reactions with each dose she got at 6 months, 9 months and 12 months. The 3rd one being the worse reaction. She is almost 4 now and has had no other shots since then. Our other 2 have had only 1 round...and now we've decided again to do no shots at all. We have prayed about this a LOT, and never felt comfortable with vaccines.
These are some books that have come recommended, but I haven't gotten a chance to read yet:
Vaccines: Are They Really Safe and Effective - Neil Z. Miller
The Vaccine Guide: Risks and Benefits for Children and Adults - Randall Neustaedter
Evidence of Harm: Mercury in Vaccines and the Autism Epidemic: A Medical Controversy - David Kirby
Which, btw, our public county library does NOT carry any of these books.
The CDC is just going to try and scare you into vaccinating your child. Read other sources as well. You need to do your own research and decide for yourself! Nobody can tell you how to parent your child. Here is another link for more information: http://www.adventuresinbabywearing.com/2006/07/stirring-pot-what-i-want-every-parent.html
~jenna
Megan--I was just on Dr. Sears website and came across his list of "vaccine-friendly doctors" which he describes as doctors who will respect your decision to delay or not give vaccines. Here is the link: http://www.askdrsears.com/thevaccinebook/Vaccine_Friendly_Doctors.asp
And yes there are doctors in Dallas area!
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